His Winter Heart: Gay Romance Read online

  That was something else he would have to get used to. Protectiveness, pain, dread – they were all part of love. His love for Colin had reached such depths and heights that Wes couldn't give up any of it. Even the worst of it meant that he finally had something he never dared to dream about. So he would take all of it. He would take those luscious lips always moving with compulsive chatter, the way Colin felt pressed up against him, the way he looked into his eyes like Wes was something he owned.

  Chapter 18

  Two days later, Colin was about to go to work. He was ready to put on his shoes when he got a text. It was from Tim. He had arrived a day early, and he was waiting for Colin in front of Penny's. Colin jumped up and almost ran out of the apartment without his shoes on. After a quick word to Wes, Colin put on his shoes and jacket and sprinted out of the apartment.

  Despite his surprise, Colin still tackled Tim and crushed him in the biggest hug ever. Even if he was worried about what would happen between them, Colin was so happy to see Tim again. It felt like he was gone a million years.

  "Hey, little bro," Colin said to him once Tim wrestled free of him with a huff. It was a running joke between them because Colin was an inch or two taller than Tim. Tim more than made up for it in bulk. Calling Tim little bro or Tiny Tim was usually good for half a smile or at least an annoyed look. Today Tim stayed stone-faced.

  "Why the hell didn't you wait inside? And why are you're a day early?" Colin said.

  "I didn't want to stop and waste time and money sleeping in some crappy motel."

  "Right, Being indoors where it's warm, sleeping, that's for wimps. Let's go in." Colin moved to go inside Penny's, but Tim wouldn't budge.

  "You can take a few minutes to show me where you live," Tim ordered him. He obviously wasn't in the mood for any more chitchat.

  "First I'm going to show you where I work and get some food in you. I don't want to listen to you and your stomach growling at me," Colin told him and led the way inside.

  Tim came along though he didn't look happy about the delay. This would give Colin a chance to tell him about Wes before Tim tried to tear his head off and stuff it down his neck hole. Colin ordered Tim two burgers and fries. While he waited on those, Colin got Mr. Snyder to let him have an hour off to deal with things.

  As he delivered the food to Tim, Colin sat across from him. Tim was more grim and closemouthed than usual as he ate.

  "How was it working for Cousin Frank?" Colin asked. He didn't want to lead with the heavy stuff though it wasn't much better to leave it hanging over his head.

  "It was OK," Tim said as he scarfed down his first burger.

  "So do you know how to make furniture now?" Colin asked to try and keep the conversation going.

  "I know how to drive a forklift," Tim said before he downed half a bottle of water.

  "I thought Frank was going to let you out of the warehouse to learn some furniture making."

  "I was supposed to start on that this week, but I had to come down here instead." Tim followed that up with a hard look at Colin.

  Colin didn't let him stare him down. He just waited for the rest.

  "What the hell have you been doing?" Tim asked.

  "I think a better question is who the hell have you been listening to? Or should I guess?" Colin said.

  "Why did you move out of Brad's?" Tim asked.

  "We just couldn't get along," Colin said. There was plenty of truth to that, but he had to wonder what Brad had told Tim to make him look at Colin like that.

  Tim furrowed his brow, and Colin waited. When he was younger, that glowering look could make him confess all his crimes. This time he was only guilty of hiding things to protect Tim, and he wasn't about to confess to that. He did want to be honest about things that were a lot more important to him than that scumbag Brad.

  "If you want to hear me out, I have a couple of pieces of news for you," Colin said.

  "Really?" Tim said, not hiding how angry he was.

  "Yes. I just didn't want to tell you over the phone that I'm gay. Or did you want me to text you about that?" Colin asked him.

  "And the rest?" Tim said, not reacting to his first piece of news at all.

  Colin paused to make sure Tim really had nothing to say about him being gay, then he moved on. "After I couldn't stay at Brad's, I started living with this guy. His name is Wes. And we're, you know, doing it. Not just doing it. I'm into this guy. I mean I'm serious about him. And he's just plain serious." Colin took a deep breath. There was no good way to talk about this kind of stuff with his brother, especially while Tim was sitting there like a statue.

  "Let's go," Tim said and got up. He threw some money on the table including a good tip. He was out the door before Colin even had time to put his jacket back on.

  "Put your damn jacket on," Tim barked at him when he saw he was carrying it.

  "When?" Colin said as he caught up to him.

  Tim had seen which direction he came from when he arrived so he knew to head up the street.

  "Wait. I wasn't done talking," Colin said. He grabbed Tim's arm, wanting to have it out, but Tim tore himself out of his grip.

  "You can walk and talk, can't you?" Tim said and just kept moving.

  "I can talk and do pretty much anything," Colin boasted. He wasn't sure what to think of Tim's bad attitude. He didn't even flinch when Colin told him about being gay. Even if Brad told him first, it wasn't the same as hearing it from Colin himself. Tim's whole focus seemed to be on Wes. That wasn't a good sign.

  As they went up in the elevator, Colin remembered all of Tim's warnings not to ride in them. He wanted to point out to Tim that this was a good place if they could ride the elevator with no fear and without holding their breaths. Mainly he wanted to tell Tim that Wes was a good guy, the best, and that he had nothing to worry about. But that wouldn't work. Tim was going to see Wes for himself and then he would make up his own mind about him.

  Colin hadn't warned Wes that they were coming. He wanted Tim to barge in, maybe find Wes, the workaholic, hard at work. Tim would respect that about him. Colin knocked just to give Wes a heads up. When they went in, Wes was waiting in the living room. Even with no warning, Wes knew to expect them.

  "Stop being psychic. It's creepy," Colin told him as he closed the door behind Tim. "This is my brother Tim. He wanted to check you out. He said he wanted to see where I lived, but we both know what he really meant," Colin said turning to Tim accusingly. "That's Wes. Have a good, long look."

  "Does he have a last name?" Tim asked.

  "What, you want to google him? Have at it. You'll just find boring, computer, nerd, business stuff," Colin informed him.

  "Wes Ingram," Wes said and offered Tim his hand.

  Tim refused to take it.

  "Don't mind him. He's been driving non-stop. He hasn't had any sleep. That's why he's so cranky," Colin told Wes while he glared at Tim for being rude. "You going to ask him what his intentions are?"

  "I already know about his intentions," Tim said with a harsh, condemning stare at Wes.

  Colin didn't like his look one bit. Wes was an awesome guy, and no one should be looking at him like that, least of all Colin's own brother.

  "Hey, he isn't the enemy. He was nice enough to give me a place to live," Colin told him.

  "Real nice to shack up with some kid he picked up off the street," Tim said, and Wes seemed willing to let him say whatever he wanted. He didn't even react when Tim got right in his face, or as close as he could with his height disadvantage. Though strong, he was half a head shorter than Wes, not that Tim let that intimidate him. He looked ready to squash Wes, and Wes looked ready to let him.

  "It wasn't off the street. It was at the diner down the street. And I am an adult. Get that through your thick skull!" Colin said and pulled Tim away from Wes. "What's the big deal anyway? I just have a boyfriend now."

  "That?" Tim said pointing at Wes.

  Colin pulled his arm down.

  "You don't like my choice? Did
you think you were going to be picking my boyfriend for me as well as making every other decision in my life?"

  "He isn't your boyfriend," Tim said like he did mean to make that decision.

  "I say he is."

  "You're blind. You think you owe this guy," Tim said.

  "I do owe him, but I am with him because I'm in love with him."

  "You might think you are..." Tim started to say, but Colin wasn't going to let him get away with it.

  "You don't get to decide whether I'm in love or not. No one does except me." He shot a look at Wes too to let him know he was included in that statement. The way Wes was just standing there, Colin wasn't sure whose side he was on. He wasn't saying one word in his own defense.

  "And why are you just standing there. Speak up for yourself. He's slandering you," Colin tried to prod him.

  "He hasn't said anything that isn't true," Wes told Colin calmly, infuriating him.

  "You two should go have a beer, become best buddies. You both agree that I'm a moron. Go, decide what I should be feeling and how I should be living my life!"

  "I'm not saying that. But I'm not going to pretend that this is an ideal situation," Wes said in that low, even tone.

  "Right now I don't know which one of you is pissing me off more," Colin told them both.

  "You don't have any reason to be angry with your brother for being concerned about you," Wes said.

  "I don't need you defending me. In fact I don't need to hear one thing from you," Tim said to Wes.

  "In my own house, I think I'll speak or not as I see fit," Wes said coldly, eyeing both Tim and Colin.

  Tim looked grim at his words, but Colin beamed proudly at him.

  "There you go, showing us those big balls of yours that I love," Colin said.

  Wes covered his face and hung his head as he groaned in embarrassment. Tim looked equally uncomfortable. Colin was the only one enjoying himself.

  "Now unless you want me oversharing some more, maybe telling you how much I love his cock and his balls, you will make peace with this," Colin told Tim.

  Tim looked ready to wring his neck while Wes begged him to shut up. Colin gave Tim a challenging look. Even as Tim glared at him, Colin could tell that he was backing down. Shaking his head, Tim moved to go. He didn't seem as angry as when he came but only by a little. He must have realized that Wes wasn't the problem. Colin was and always would be Tim's biggest headache.

  "I'll walk you out. I have to get back to work anyway," Colin said. It was one way to keep Tim from walking out on him. "I'll deal with you later," he told Wes.

  Wes looked amused. Bastard. Now he was in even more trouble for not taking him seriously.

  The elevator ride passed in silence. Colin didn't want to barrage Tim. He wasn't going to change his mind all at once, but Colin would wear him down. As they stood in the elevator, the vibe between them seemed a little better than when they went up. Maybe seeing Wes for himself eliminated some of Tim's worries.

  In front of the diner, Colin stopped him before they went their separate ways.

  "Where are you staying? Not with Brad?" Colin asked, frowning.

  Tim gave him a sharp look at the mention of Brad. "James will put me up."

  Colin nodded. He didn't want Tim trusting Brad again. If he wasn't staying with Brad, Tim must know something wasn't right. That was fine as long as he didn't find out too much and go after him.

  Seeing that Tim was giving him a searching look, Colin told him, "Go get some sleep. I'll see you soon." He clapped him on the shoulder and went inside the diner. Through the diner windows, he watched Tim as he went to his old, crappy car.

  Tim was always the solid one, the one person in the world Colin could count on since their parents died. But Colin remembered all the times he worried about Tim, kept things from him, did things just because Tim wanted him to. He wondered if they would ever be on equal footing. One day, he wanted to be able to talk to Tim without fear, without secrets, without holding back, the way he could talk to Wes.

  *

  Wes wasn't sure Colin would come back with his brother in tow until he heard that knock on the door. When the brothers came in, he was struck by the resemblances and contrasts between them.

  Colin's brother was a good-looking guy. If Wes hadn't seen Colin first, he would have found Tim extremely attractive. But next to Colin, he just couldn't compare. Though both of them kept their jackets on, Wes could tell that Tim was more muscular though not as tall as his younger brother. His hair was dark and curly like Colin's but shorter so the curls didn't show as much. His features were rougher, his eyes not nearly as beguiling as Colin's. Tim's eyes had a guarded look that Wes was sure wasn't only meant for him. It was part of his nature. Wes saw no malice there though.

  Though powerfully built, Tim was nothing like their uncle. That had been Wes's worry. Unlike their uncle, Tim was contained, completely under control. The temper Colin was worried about was like a coiled metal spring inside him clamped down tight.

  Even when he approached Wes as if to provoke him, Wes saw no loss of control. If anything, he was testing Wes for his own faults. Tim was looking for signs of weakness or temper, anything that might hurt Colin or make Wes unworthy of him. Tim was rightly protective of his impulsive, younger brother.

  Despite holding his ground, Wes knew that he could never make a good impression on Colin's brother. Colin didn't seem to know this. He had too much faith in both of them. Colin didn't have the cynicism to see Wes the way Tim did. For his part, Wes couldn't dislike Tim. He was unpleasant and abrasive, but he wasn't wrong. Wes wished he could think of him as some dumb meathead and dismiss him. In a way, he admired Colin's stoic older brother. Tim had taken on parental responsibilities and now he couldn't think of Colin as an adult.

  To Wes's ears, everything Tim said might sound right, but it didn't sound right to Colin, his champion. Colin had his own unorthodox methods of fighting back. It was just like him to defuse the situation with something so very inappropriate. When Tim backed off and left, Wes could tell that he loved his little brother too much to go against him, but he still thought that Wes was scum.

  That night Wes got to hear Colin's plan for dealing with Tim. They were sitting on the couch together with the TV muted.

  "I'm going to see him tomorrow," Colin told him while he worked his way through a bag of potato chips.

  "Are you sure you don't want to give him more time?" Wes said. Colin was relentless, but Wes wasn't sure it would serve him this time.

  "Tim is my family. He can be pissed. He can disapprove if he wants. But he doesn't get to reject me, or turn his back on me, or any of that other shitty stuff," Colin said passionately, gesturing with the bag of potato chips. Wes took the bag away from him. "I'll lift some weights later," Colin told him. He lifted his sweatshirt to show him his trim abs.

  Wes touched him there. He felt his hand heat up from the warmth of his skin. Colin gave him a salty kiss. When he pulled back, his eyes held no doubts. Wes knew he was seeing in him the same stubborn refusal to let go, to lose someone who was important to him that had driven Colin to keep coming after him. Colin was impulsive and pushy because he loved fiercely and without reservations.

  "You see only good. Your brother was just being more realistic," Wes told him, trying to make him understand where Tim was coming from.

  "Stop taking his side. Where is your fighting spirit?" Colin asked leaning toward him.

  "Did you want us to go at each other tooth and claw?"

  "That could be a video game. Cage match! Brother vs. Boyfriend. Round one! Pow!" Colin punched the air then he got serious again. "You stood up to my uncle. You slammed him into a building. You didn't need to get physical with Tim, but why didn't you stand up to him more?"

  "Your uncle came after me out of hate. Tim did it out of love and concern for you," Wes explained. He couldn't imagine hurting someone who loved Colin and whom Colin loved so much.

  "What are you a Tim fan?" Colin accused him. />
  "In a way. He looked after you, and he's still doing that."

  "Well, he needs to stop."

  "It's a big adjustment. You've been the focus of his life. You said he went to Canada to earn money so he could give you a home."

  "Don't even think of using that as an excuse to kick me out," Colin said, ready to get angry with him.

  "I want you to stay more than anything," Wes confessed.

  "Forever?" Colin jumped in to say.

  "Forever is longer than you think."

  "Oh, is it? Call my bluff then, and I'll have you shackled to me for life." Colin leaned in and touched his forehead to Wes's.

  "What kind of life. If I..."

  "Stop," Colin said and put his arms around him. "You don't need to be so on your guard. I'll watch over you from now on and make sure you stay sane and mine forever." Colin kissed him, letting his body sink against Wes.

  It was a good feeling to be with Colin and to have someone watching over him. Wes let himself live in that moment where Colin's lips were gliding over his and he was warmed by his body.

  Chapter 19

  Colin was antsy over his unresolved issues with Tim. That's why he had to see him tomorrow. If he could, he would be going to see him right this minute. Instead he went to bother that nocturnal creature he loved. His beloved creature was at his desk, working. At almost midnight, Colin didn't feel even a little bit guilty coming up behind him and interrupting him.

  "I guess you're in the mood," Wes said feeling Colin's groping hands and pushing them away from his crotch.