His True Home (Gay Romance) Read online

  "I need you to stay with Teddy," Alec said as he shielded his eyes and looked up at the hill to try and spot Cory.

  All three of them were looking up at the hill. Alec was hoping to see Cory so he would know which path to take. But it wasn't called Pine Hill for nothing. Blocking his view, the trees reached right up to the summit. At the very top, the hill was rocky and forbidding. Cory wasn't up there yet. Alec hoped he could get to him before he tried to climb over the rocks. Even before this challenging part of the climb, the ground was steep and it was easy to lose one's footing. The rocky part was the most dangerous. He didn't even want to think of Cory trying to climb it alone.

  "I'm going up after him," Alec told his mom as he tied his sneakers more securely.

  "Alec, honey, he isn't a twelve-year-old," she pointed out to him reasonably.

  "I'm still going."

  "OK. Have fun," she told him. Alec had a feeling she wanted to say "be careful" but she didn't want to scare Teddy.

  "Me too," Teddy said trying to pull away from Mom and join Alec just as he was walking away.

  Alec stopped to talk to him.

  "Sorry. You're too little. When you're bigger, you can go. This time I'll go in your place, OK?" Alec told him and hurried off.

  As he climbed, Alec reminded himself of the same thing his mother had said. Cory wasn't a kid. He wasn't stupid. But until Alec saw with his own eyes that he was OK, he couldn't stop being scared. It didn't help that he almost fell a few times in his rush to catch up to Cory. Once he was high enough, Alec called his name. He didn't get an answer, but he hoped Cory heard him.

  When he was past the halfway mark, he spotted Cory. Seeing him, Alec didn't know if he wanted to laugh with relief or curse at him. He couldn't do either while he was out of breath. He just stood there and tried to catch his breath.

  Cory was sitting down on a fallen log. He had stopped to wait for him. As Alec approached, he stood up, not looking happy to see him.

  "What the hell are you doing?" Cory asked him.

  "If I wasn't out of breath, I would have already asked you the same thing," Alec said. Cory had taken his time climbing. Alec had to push himself. That's why he was winded, not because he was out of shape.

  "You didn't need to come after me," Cory claimed.

  "Teddy came after you," Alec told him, angry as he remembered how he ran out of the house. "He's down there right now with Mom. He saw your note and almost had it figured out all by himself. What the hell were you thinking?"

  "He's getting to be such a good reader," Cory said with a proud smile.

  "Not the point! He was running after you in his pajamas!" Alec said. He again tasted the fear of seeing the little guy disappearing out the door. Maybe for the first time in his life, Alec understood why his mother spent his and Ian's childhood in a worried frenzy.

  "So you're here for Teddy," Cory concluded.

  "I'm here because you are an idiot!" Alec snapped at him.

  "I'm going to the top. Leave, stay, go fuck yourself, your choice," Cory said and continued climbing up.

  None of the choices Cory gave him appealed to Alec. He took the one Cory didn't give him. He followed.

  They were still climbing through the tree covered part of the hill. The tree branches gave them something to hold onto, but the pine needles underfoot made them slip constantly. At one point Cory tumbled backwards and Alec caught him.

  "I'm fine," Cory said and shook him off.

  Alec didn't waste his breath trying to make him turn back. Being up here again reminded him of his own stubbornness when he climbed for the first time. Ian couldn't make him turn back. Cory wasn't any less stubborn than Alec. Now that they were here, they were going to the top. And they were doing it together whether Cory wanted to or not.

  Reaching the rocky part, Alec told Cory to rest. Cory told him to shut up but still took a break. Alec looked at him. Cory was sweaty, scratched up, and determined. His anger at Alec was driving him but so was his strong will. Alec didn't know anyone who could make him feel so much. Wishing he could take Cory into his arms, Alec turned away. He focused on the next part of the climb. Getting Cory's attention, he pointed out the best way to go. Cory nodded. He might be stubborn, but he wasn't stupid. More than anything, Cory wanted to get back to Teddy in one piece.

  They started to climb after Cory looked back to see if Alec was ready. Alec smiled to himself. He wasn't just tagging along. They were doing this together.

  Alec let Cory go first, thinking that he might somehow be able to catch him if anything went wrong and he fell. As they went, he pointed out to Cory where to hold on. He remembered that the safe rocks were usually dark gray and the loose ones were pale. It was still a gamble. Difficult handholds and loose rocks endangered them both, but Alec only worried about Cory. Alec's nerves were on edge every time Cory came close to falling. While he focused on Cory, Alec lost his footing. He was left hanging by one arm. Cory looked back and froze then started to climb down. Alec found another handhold just in time.

  "Stop!" he gasped. "I got it."

  "Alec?" Cory said.

  Alec could hear the fear in his voice. When he had his feet planted firmly on a narrow ledge, he looked up. He shouldn't have. Alec almost fell when he looked into Cory's beautiful eyes with all the naked emotion inside them. Cory could knock him down so easily with one look, one touch, one kiss. How did Alec ever manage to hold on?

  "I'm OK," Alec reassured him.

  Cory's look turned angry. "Be careful," he ordered Alec as they continued to climb.

  It didn't get any easier after that. Alec had to tell Cory to pay attention to what he was doing instead of constantly checking to make sure Alec was OK. Of course, Alec was doing the same thing, but he wasn't about to take his own advice. They only managed the last part after testing out several handholds that gave way.

  Once they reached the top, Alec collapsed in a heap. Cory was still standing, staring at that sliver of ocean that was visible in the distance. Other hills almost blocked it from sight, but there it was, bluer than the sky. Alec remembered seeing it for the first time. It was like a promise. It gave him hope at a sad time. He remembered Ian's arm over his shoulder as they stared into the distance and missed their dad.

  Alec stood up to take in that view again. He tried to prepare himself for what it would bring back, the good and the bad. It all flooded back, and he let it pass through him like a powerful wave. He whispered, "Hey, Dad. I did it again."

  Blinking away tears, he noticed that Cory was looking down around his feet.

  "What are you doing now?"

  "I'm looking for the perfect rock."

  Alec didn't ask him about that. He wanted to get to the heart of this.

  "Did I send you up here?" Alec wondered. He knew Cory wasn't a guy who acted on impulse except when it came to Alec.

  "That ego," Cory said as he looked down toward the base of the hill. He was probably looking for Teddy down there, but the trees growing in that direction blocked his view.

  "So you're bitchy and you climbed up here for no particular reason?" Alec said.

  Cory only gave him a scowl in reply.

  "Let's hear it. Let it out," Alec told him.

  "You mean bitch at you? Get it off my chest?" Cory shook his head and wouldn't look at him. "I'm mad, but I'm not blaming you for anything. I offered myself, and you took what I offered. I'm just kicking myself for not being able to keep a cool head about it. I wasn't built for casual fucking. I just can't help always wanting more, wanting people to care about me. But that doesn't mean that I expect it."

  "Of course I care about you," Alec had to say. He tried to pull on Cory's arm to make him look at him, but Cory wouldn't let him.

  "I know you care. But I'm talking about, you know ... I guess I want someone to be in love with me." Cory now looked up but not at Alec. He was looking into the distance as he said, "Sometimes I think I'm doomed to always be on the outside of things like that."

  Alec squee
zed his eyes shut. That's how Cory felt and now Alec had confirmed it. Damn.

  "You're wrong, and I'm sorry," Alec told him. "I knew I was playing with fire when we started this, but self-control really isn't my thing. This wasn't a coolheaded decision for me either. I couldn't help myself."

  Cory turned to him with sad eyes. "And I used that. I went into it knowing I had feelings for you and that you couldn't return them."

  "I didn't..." Alec started to say, but Cory interrupted.

  "Let me talk. I wanted you, but I wanted you too much. So I offered myself to you for casual sex. But I like fucking you too much. I never want to stop."

  "Can I talk now?"

  "No. I know what you're going to say. You're not interested in anything more. You were up front about that, and I have only myself to blame." Cory was grim, ready to take all the responsibility.

  "You can't speak for me," Alec said to him. "I'm going to have my say with or without your permission."

  Cory sighed, resigning himself to it.

  "You did know where I stood going into this, but you don't know where I stand now," Alec told him.

  "What does that mean?" Cory looked confused.

  "I've had enough meaningless sex to know the difference. Every time we fuck, I feel like you're tearing out my soul."

  Cory was too stunned to speak.

  "Do you know how many guys I've kicked out of bed?" Alec asked, snapping him out of it.

  "I'm sure you've kicked out of bed tons of hotter guys than me," Cory said bitterly. He still didn't know that he was the one man Alec never wanted to kick out of bed.

  "It wasn't hard," Alec told him. "Those guys were like me, looking for fun and nothing more. I've avoided serious involvements all this time because I've steered clear of guys like you."

  "Like me?" Cory frowned, maybe thinking that he was being insulted.

  "You haven't had enough experience, and I've had too much. You could never fool me by pretending to be an easy fuck. You have love in your eyes."

  "I do not. Shut up!" Cory blushed. Sheepishly, he asked, "Then why did you...?"

  "I could only resist you for so long. I'm not made of stone," Alec admitted.

  "I still don't know what you're saying," Cory said.

  "I can't stop no matter where this goes." Alec didn't know how else to say that Cory was everything he wanted and didn't want. Alec was helpless against him.

  Cory could see his mixed feelings despite his words. "I don't want to be the reason you run off," he stated simply.

  "I wouldn't do that to you, not when we have Teddy to think of," Alec assured him.

  "Good to know," Cory said, still looking unsure.

  Alec wished he could promise him more, but he was already feeling panicky about being tied down by his vague declaration.

  "I have my perfect rock. We can head down now," Cory said.

  "Just like that? I just told you that I can't resist you and you just..." Alec threw his arms up in frustration. He wasn't sure what he expected, maybe for Cory to melt into his arms.

  "What do you want? You didn't exactly make a love confession," Cory told him dismissively and tried to walk past him.

  Alec grabbed him and kissed him deep and hard. He stopped when they were both stiff and out of breath.

  "That's as much of a love confession as I can make right now, but I still expect a reward," he told Cory, who smiled.

  "Now who's asking for too much?" Cory said. He stepped away from him.

  "I can't say more," Alec told him, feeling like he had already said too much. "Just because I'm too weak to stay away from you doesn't mean I won't be moving on one day. I'm not looking for a relationship, but I can't keep myself from feeling the kinds of things that land people in relationships. That's why I was so harsh with you. I wanted to cool things down. I don't want to hurt you."

  "Right now I'm just glad I'm more to you than a convenient fuck," Cory said.

  "Look where we are." Alec motioned all around. "You are very inconvenient!"

  A few times, going down seemed harder than going up. The vibe between them had improved though. Cory was more willing to take his hand though he brushed him off most of the time. The climb down went faster once they were on the forested part of the hill. Cory was now in a rush to get back to Teddy, and Alec had to slow him down.

  Teddy waited at the bottom with Mom holding his hand. Cory ran to him and Alec followed. Cory kneeled in front of his little brother and gave him a big hug. He apologized to Mom, and she let him right off the hook.

  "Were you worried?" Cory asked Teddy.

  Teddy shook his head. He did seem more excited than worried. Cory reached into his pocket and brought out the small rock.

  "We went to the top and saw the ocean. This is from the very top of the hill. It's for you," Cory said and offered him the rock.

  Teddy looked at it like it came from the Moon. He held it reverently and smiled at Cory as if he was an astronaut.

  "I went up too," Alec told him.

  "What do you want? A medal?" his mother said. "You two mountain climbers take this child to breakfast," she ordered them.

  "You were worried," Alec accused her, leaning in.

  "I was not," she said and walked away, shaking her head and grumbling. "Anyone who wants a ride into town better hurry it up."

  "Can you take him to breakfast?" Cory asked Alec. "I have to open the store."

  "Are you kidding me?"

  "No. Petersen is bringing back the circular saw and renting the sander. He can only rent one thing at a time because he can't afford more than one deposit. He'll be there any minute now. He has to drive for an hour to get here. I can't let him down."

  Alec sighed in resignation. "Should we bring Cory breakfast?" he asked Teddy. "Or should we make him suffer?"

  "Breakfast," Teddy said right away. What a good boy.

  *

  That morning, Cory had been up early, not wanting to waste any more time lying in bed, sleepless and miserable. He had stepped out on the back porch while the morning sun was still clearing the horizon. The mist still clung to the grass and made the woods hazy. As he looked around, Cory caught sight of Pine Hill. He stared at it, and it issued him a challenge. At first Cory refused and turned away to go make coffee. Inside his head, he heard a voice deriding him, "You can't climb one little hill, and you expect to get a man like Alec?" Cory was ready to give that voice the finger, but then he reconsidered. Maybe climbing up there would give him some perspective, a clearer view of things.

  After the climb, Cory did see things more clearly. He knew how Alec felt, that he did feel something. Cory had desperately needed to hear that, but he felt bad when he saw Teddy and Miriam waiting at the bottom of the hill. The relieved look on Miriam's face told him that she had been worried. He hadn't meant to cause all that trouble. He was glad that he and Alec had talked though.

  Since Cory had to go to work, scolding Teddy was postponed until breakfast. Alec and Teddy brought in some pancakes from Thompson's and they ate on the hardware store counter.

  "Now we need to talk about what happened this morning," Alec said. He stared at Teddy until he realized he was the one in trouble. "You ran out of the house without permission. That's not allowed. It's dangerous."

  "Cory..." Teddy started to say.

  "Cory is a big boy. He can go where he likes. You can't," Alec said sternly.

  "Maybe I should handle this," Cory said, asserting his role as the big brother.

  "Fine," Alec said, backing down.

  Before Cory could say anything, Teddy had his own grievance.

  "You got me in trouble." Teddy pouted.

  "You got you in trouble," Cory retorted. "You can't leave the house, or go anywhere, without permission. What were you thinking?"

  "You went to the hill without me," Teddy said, furrowing his brow.

  "Yes. If I go somewhere without you, you stay put and wait for me to come back. And I'll always come back. OK?" Cory took his hand.
/>   "OK," Teddy said, still pouting.

  "You worried Alec," Cory told him.

  "Sorry, Alec," Teddy said sheepishly.

  "Just don't do it again," Alec told him gruffly, but Cory could tell that he was melting inside at that puppy dog face Teddy was giving him.

  Chapter 21

  Though Cory thought he had reassured him plenty, that night Teddy wouldn't stay in bed. Cory had tucked him in and left after he was asleep. A little later, Cory was busy on Alec's laptop when he noticed Teddy peering at him from the kitchen door.

  "Do you want a drink of water?" Cory asked him.

  Teddy shook his head. Alec came up behind him and explained.

  "He won't go to sleep because he's afraid you'll go on another adventure without him."

  From the look on Teddy's face, Cory could tell that he was right.

  "What if I sleep in your room tonight?" Cory asked.

  "OK," Teddy agreed.

  Cory was going to sleep pretty soon anyway so he got ready and walked him back to bed.

  "I'll sleep here that way you can keep an eye on me," he said as they cleared Teddy's drawings from the other bed. "Do you snore?" Cory asked.

  Teddy shook his head.

  "We'll see," Cory said.

  "You snore," Teddy said.

  "No, I don't."

  "Yes, you do, but not as bad as Alec."

  "Why am I always the worst?" Alec asked from the door.

  Both Teddy and Cory shrugged. When the bed was cleared, Cory got under the covers. Alec was ready to leave so he went and kissed Teddy on the top of his head and then did the same to Cory. Teddy gave him one of his patented "you're crazy" looks.

  Cory had already told Teddy a bedtime story, and it was tough coming up with another one. Searching for inspiration, Cory noticed the glowing night sky painted on the ceiling. For once Cory told a story from his imagination. In the story, two brothers named Cory and Teddy traveled through space in a cool spaceship. They got a distress call from Alec, who had been captured by aliens, and they saved him.